Today I have celebrated Thanksgiving with my family. Not the extended family. My wife, my kids and my pets. We ate our turkey, mashed potatoes and gravy, potato salad, home made stuffing, green beans, rice, bread and yams (yuck). Overall was a wonderful meal. Soon it will be time for pumpkin pie with whip topping and jello. I have so much to be thankful for. I am thankful for my wonderful family. They make me laugh when I least expect it. I have never known thanksgiving to be so emotional. This year I have been. Times I have shed a few tears and there was time of confusion and uncertainty. My kids, at least the 3 boys will be adopted soon and I am so happy that we can bring some kind of closure for them. They still will need that stability that me and my wife can give them and help them when they are down. The confusion has been with our love bug. What do you say to her other than that you will always be there for her? How can I know that I will always be there for her? When her mom still has control of the situation there will always be uncertainty. But for now I am there for her. I will be there for her as long as she is around me. I will stand and fight for her. I am thankful that I have her with us now. Maybe next week, or next month, or maybe a year from now, she may go back to her mom. But for now, she is safe and I am thankful for that.
I am thankful for my wonderful wife Lisa. She is the rock that is constant in my life. We have been through our ups and downs and she has never wavered. I can say that without her I would be lost. Before I met her, I didn't want kids. I didn't want to be that responsible parent. I was selfish and ignorant to what I would have missed without her. I am thankful for every moment that we are together as a family. Love goes out to my wife and kids because they are the best.
Thursday, November 24, 2011
Saturday, November 12, 2011
A Piece Missing.
Just sitting here on a Saturday night relaxing with my wife and thinking how life has changed so much in the last 20 years of my life. From moving from Colorado to Idaho, finishing school in a different state and not graduating with the kids I grew up with. Working almost 5 years in a dead end job, moving back to Colorado. Drinking and partying like a rock star, getting a DWAI. Meeting the woman of my dreams, getting married. The lose of children, the gain of a little angel, to losing her too. To have hope that our little angel will forever be in our home, to three boys in our house and waking up at 4 in the morning to drive a hour and a half to a wrestling meet.
With all these changes I have plenty to talk about. I will start with moving away from Colorado. It makes me sad to have lost long friendships along the way. I see my wife have wonderful and beautiful friendships from when she was young. Even though she doesn't see them often, you can see the special bonds they share when they are together. It's like a story that never ends. It is the movie you see these kids growing up finding their way and sharing it together.
I have some great relationships that I am proud to say that I have kept through the years. Tim has been there with me through some great times and not so great times together. I was invited to his wedding in 2000 which I was unable to make due to lack of a job at the time. He has been there when I have been sick and has come seen me in the hospital when I was there for 5 days. I did go out and help him and his family move to Colorado. He flew me out to Chicago so I could meet his family and get to know his wife. What a beautiful family. I couldn't have asked for a better friendship than what he has given me.
There is my friend Jon. I still remember the first day I met him. I started a new school in a town that I just moved to called American Falls Idaho. My birth place. I remember Jon was at the door to the school, stuck out his hand and introduced himself to me. At the time I didn't know if I would be around long enough to make friends at this new location because of the moves at the time. Turns out I did finish school at AFHS. I did have some great times and not so great times. Hey, it was high school. Jon turned out to be one of my best friends. We hung out, drank on a few occasions. After high school we had a close relationship until I moved away to Colorado in January 1998. We disconnected and after about 7 years with no contact we met again on line. I have always treasured his input and respected him for the guy he is. Honest, truthful, fun but most of all a great friend. I have not seen him for a long time and hope to end that drought soon.
I am often looking back at those childhood friendships that I did have growing up. Living in Greeley Colorado most of the kids I knew didn't know anywhere else but Greeley. We grew up on the north side, which at the time wasn't as bad as it is now, but still had a reputation. I remember Danny, Rafael, Ernie just a few on the top of my mind. We went to school together since I could remember. When I left Colorado I lost all communication with everyone. I wrote a couple of letters to friends and they wrote to me but after a couple of letters things just died. I was separated from all that I knew. When I moved back to Colorado I was hopeful that I could pick things up as though I didn't leave. Boy was I wrong. It was like moving to a whole new life again.
I am in a much better place now but I still want those relationships back. Just to be able to talk to people and talk about old times together. I am envious of the people that can share those special moments together. Remember when? Do you remember? How about that time we .....? I miss those. I have special moments with my wife now that I can look back with her and reminisce about those things. I am grateful and appreciate all the wonderful people in my life. Lets make our times special and make them count. I love my friends and family.
With all these changes I have plenty to talk about. I will start with moving away from Colorado. It makes me sad to have lost long friendships along the way. I see my wife have wonderful and beautiful friendships from when she was young. Even though she doesn't see them often, you can see the special bonds they share when they are together. It's like a story that never ends. It is the movie you see these kids growing up finding their way and sharing it together.
I have some great relationships that I am proud to say that I have kept through the years. Tim has been there with me through some great times and not so great times together. I was invited to his wedding in 2000 which I was unable to make due to lack of a job at the time. He has been there when I have been sick and has come seen me in the hospital when I was there for 5 days. I did go out and help him and his family move to Colorado. He flew me out to Chicago so I could meet his family and get to know his wife. What a beautiful family. I couldn't have asked for a better friendship than what he has given me.
There is my friend Jon. I still remember the first day I met him. I started a new school in a town that I just moved to called American Falls Idaho. My birth place. I remember Jon was at the door to the school, stuck out his hand and introduced himself to me. At the time I didn't know if I would be around long enough to make friends at this new location because of the moves at the time. Turns out I did finish school at AFHS. I did have some great times and not so great times. Hey, it was high school. Jon turned out to be one of my best friends. We hung out, drank on a few occasions. After high school we had a close relationship until I moved away to Colorado in January 1998. We disconnected and after about 7 years with no contact we met again on line. I have always treasured his input and respected him for the guy he is. Honest, truthful, fun but most of all a great friend. I have not seen him for a long time and hope to end that drought soon.
I am often looking back at those childhood friendships that I did have growing up. Living in Greeley Colorado most of the kids I knew didn't know anywhere else but Greeley. We grew up on the north side, which at the time wasn't as bad as it is now, but still had a reputation. I remember Danny, Rafael, Ernie just a few on the top of my mind. We went to school together since I could remember. When I left Colorado I lost all communication with everyone. I wrote a couple of letters to friends and they wrote to me but after a couple of letters things just died. I was separated from all that I knew. When I moved back to Colorado I was hopeful that I could pick things up as though I didn't leave. Boy was I wrong. It was like moving to a whole new life again.
I am in a much better place now but I still want those relationships back. Just to be able to talk to people and talk about old times together. I am envious of the people that can share those special moments together. Remember when? Do you remember? How about that time we .....? I miss those. I have special moments with my wife now that I can look back with her and reminisce about those things. I am grateful and appreciate all the wonderful people in my life. Lets make our times special and make them count. I love my friends and family.
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)